


26 Hours

by starprise_entership



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Episode tag: ‘The Wire’, M/M, a lot of thoughts too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 12:16:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13926996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starprise_entership/pseuds/starprise_entership
Summary: With nothing to do but monitor Garak’s vital signs, Julian does a bit of thinking.





	26 Hours

Julian crosses the room to get his third cup of tea in five hours. His eyelids are heavy and he’s fighting, fighting off Morpheus as he paces the room, stretching his legs.

_Under no circumstances will I fall asleep,_ he resolves, balancing the mug of tea in his hands, feeling its weight. Soon the caffeine will kick in again and he’ll be right as rain. He’ll be awake enough to continue monitoring Garak’s vital signs. For now, the ambient, steady beep that indicates everything is alright for now is dreary enough to send him to sleep.

For now, Julian tries his best to anticipate every beep when it comes. His blurred, sleepy gaze falls on Garak’s chest, and he watches him breathe. Garak looks peaceful, but Julian knows that it must be hell for him. With every rise and fall of his chest, Garak’s mind and body are in conflict with each other, but most importantly they are screaming, screaming for the endorphins that they _must have._ The endorphins that ended up nearly killing Garak when the implant malfunctioned.

_Garak, Garak, Garak._ Julian muses, with a heavy heart. _You’re going to be in intense pain, I know that. And it’s hurting me as much as it’s hurting you._ He rolls his eyes at the conversation he’s having with himself. _Alright, maybe I suffer a little less, but know that I’ll be with you every step of the way. No matter what happens to you._

Julian takes another sip of his tea, not knowing what he’s feeling right now. He blinks hard, trying to process his thoughts but every time his eyelids droop he takes a step closer into the inky darkness of sleep–

The hot tea drips down the side of his trousers, scalding the skin underneath. Bolting upright, he hurriedly places the mug on a nearby table. Going into Garak’s belongings feels too personal, so he replicates a towel instead. Then there’s the question on what he’s going to do with this pair of trousers. Running back to his quarters for another pair is an option, but no, he has a very strong urge to stay because he cannot leave, Garak’s life is in danger.

Resigning to his current fate, Julian gives a sigh as he waits for the tea to evaporate. _The things I would do for you, Garak,_ he silently jokes.

Julian reads the existing material on Cardassian physiology over and over again on his PADD until the lines begin to blur and the paragraphs start to swirl. Realising that he can’t continue to sit down or he’ll start to nod off, he stands again, stretching out his tense shoulders and legs. He returns to the table where the half-full cup of cold tea sits, and gulps it down. The cool beverage is almost a miracle. Julian wonders if he has to replicate a few more cups of tea to leave to cool.

It’s at this point when Garak stirs in his sleep. Julian rushes to him immediately. Thankfully, all is relatively well when Garak merely rolls onto his side. Julian was expecting a thrashing, kicking fit. He checks the console, relieved to find that everything is still under control. Making a note of that, Julian stands by the side of his bed, observing him. Garak’s eyes are firmly shut, and sweat has dotted his brow. Julian replicates a fresh towel and gently dabs across Garak’s forehead, careful not to wake him. And when he’s cautiously tending to his patient, his mind is running wild with thoughts. _It’s different, this time, he notes. I don’t think I’ve ever been so concerned for a patient before. Usually, my mental pep talks go “I can’t lose you because I need you to get better”, but it’s deeper than that this time. Garak, I can’t lose you because–_

_I don’t think I could live a life without you in it._

Garak’s response to that would be rather flippant. _“But yet you still don’t trust me, my dear Doctor.” That’s what he would say. And maybe he’d tease me about my sentimental nature._

_But the honest truth is, I think I’m in love with him._

Garak would laugh at that thought. He’s been so emotionally attached to Garak, he can’t imagine a life without him because Garak has always been with him. In his head. In those little fantasies of his that play out when he’s idle – more often than not, he’s thinking of him when they’re apart.

“Oh, Garak, don’t give up on me now,” sighs Julian, just loud enough for the room to hear. This time, when he sinks back into the armchair again, there’s no fighting against sleep because it claims him almost immediately despite his protests.

He only wakes later when Garak does. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Julian tries to push his thoughts aside as he deals with the new situation in front of him.

_We’ll get through this. I know we will._


End file.
